We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
