I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
