Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
