I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
