he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
