It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We have so much sex to catch up on
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize