i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
