Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
