Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
