Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
