this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
