are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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