do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
