$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
