I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
