what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
