Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize