u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
