Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize