in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
