you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
