Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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