remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
