he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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