if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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