Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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