in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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