Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize