If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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