So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
