I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
