How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
