this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
