Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
