i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
