I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he thought i was a dude.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
