I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
