Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
