OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
