the condom got lost in my hair
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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