you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
