no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
