Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
