Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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