I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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