this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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