do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
FUCK WHALES
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