epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
