I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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