Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
