A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The police scanner is talking about you again....
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
