he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
