You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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