Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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