you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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