You made me cry and you don't even care
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
