The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Randomize
