Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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