I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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