Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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