He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
