marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
