Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
