How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
