I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
