Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
