Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
