my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
